#Can u tell its inspired by Heartstopper

[jaylienpotter]

Part 4 of Let them be | 1k words

> Part 3 | Part 5 (to come) <

Credit to @starsarestories for suggesting including Hagrid in marauders fics!

Let people want none

"Comin'!" With a loud creak, the wooden door opened wide. "Ah, Peter! What'cha doin' here? Come in!" Rubeus Hagrid was a half giant who was Hogwarts' gamekeeper. He was extremely sweet, despite his intimidating figure. He had guided Pettigrew and Potter on their first day there and they quickly warmed up to the hairy man. Peter went to his cabin from time to time.

"Hello Hagrid. I'm honestly hiding from my peers, you're a calmer presence so I came here. Hope that's alright?"

"O' course! Hungry?" The man infamous for his cooking skills. If Hagrid invited him for tea, he felt bad refusing, eating the rock hard pastries he made. The flavour wasn't bad. It was just hard to chew.

"No, thank you."

"Tea?"

"Yeah, alright. Thanks." He prepared the tea and sat opposite to the student.

"So. What'cha hidin' for? Did ye get into a fight?" No, but he had been further from starting one.

"No. It's just… It's James. He keeps messing with me, saying I fancy this person. But I don't! And it's really frustrating…"

"Ye told him that already?"

"I keep telling him Benjy and I are just friends- Benjy is the one I'm talking about. Benjamin Fenwick, Ravenclaw, a year above." Hagrid nodded once, maybe he knew Ben. Or he was just being polite. "But James doesn't believe me. Says I'm in bloody denial. But I don't like Benjy that way!"

"Yer just not gay, that's alrigh'. Ye can be close to a friend."

"It's not that… I never fancied anyone. At all. Girls or boys. Sybill liked me at one point and she's sweet and passionate and pretty but… I just don't feel it. Maybe I'm broken…"

"Nonsense! Yer so young, ye'll find the right person, don't worry boy." Wormtail exhaled after taking a sip from the hot wonky mug.

"You don't understand, I… I don't think I'm capable of feeling that, you know? Like… everyone is coupling now. James is head over heels for Evans as usual. I think she's gaining a liking for him, which will make him impossible to be with. Marlene and Dorcas are a couple. Oh, Remus and Sirius got together by the way."

"Ah, did they? Good for 'em. I think they make a good couple."

"Yes, finally. They're two oblivious idiots. But anyways. Everyone is all lovey-dovey and I just… don't get it? I don't see what's so special about being in love. If anything it seems annoying and disgusting. And everyone is expecting me to join in but I don't want to…"

"Then don't. Simple. Ye gotta learn not to fall under pressure, Peter." He did have a point. Saying 'no' was a very difficult task.

"But what if I never feel fulfilled?"

"Lemme tell ye a secret, Pete. Ya don't need a partner nor family to be happy. I'm happy and haven't had a girlfriend since my years at Hogwarts. It's just been me and my animals. It's enough for me. Some people, like James, need love to feel fulfilled but not everyone. Some people don't care about it or do not wish for it. One example is Professor Mcgonagall."

"She's never had a partner?"

"Not as far as I'm aware. She much rather have her space and doin' other things. An' that works. Maybe it's what works for ye too." His head of house was a brilliant witch. Tired, for sure, but who wouldn't be when you have the Marauders as your students?

"I see… Maybe you're right. But how do I tell people? Everyone will think I'm odd."

"Just say ye don' feel that attraction. Ye prefer friendship. Or don't say nothin'. Ye don't owe anyone explanations, yeah? Do what feels best for ye." Wormtail relaxed. He needed to hear it. That he wasn't broken. He wasn't the only one like that. And it was okay.

"Thanks, Hagrid. I'm glad I came to talk to you."

"Anytime. Always good to have som' company. Ye welcome to come over whenever, alright?" The boy smiled and nodded, finishing his tea and saying his goodbyes.

"You won't believe it! I got my hands on an Incredible Hulk! Can't wait to read it!" He might not have been a scholar like Remus. And big literacy books were boring to him. Comics, however? He owned a huge collection. Marvel was his favourite.

"That's great! You'll have to tell me about it when you finish." Benjy was the only one really willing to listen to him ramble about the things he liked. James read comics too, but it was hard to have a conversation about it, Prongs always ended up being the only one talking, too absorbed to notice he was cutting off Wormy. It wasn't his fault, yet it still made the short boy feel invisible. Not with Benjamin, though.

"You can read it afterwards, if you want. And then we can discuss it."

"Thanks but I prefer it when you explain it. You're cute when you're excited." Pettigrew wasn't stupid. He knew his friends were right when they said Fenwick fancied him. He would just rather pretend he didn't know. Pretend it's not true. Live in ignorant bliss.

"Oh, thanks. So uhm… Have you been drawing?" Ravenclaws were mostly known for their intelligence and academic values. What people often forgot was how it was also the House of creativity.

"Yeah, here and there." A comfortable pause followed, the mood shifted as soon as the silence broke. "Pete… Can I tell you something?" Oh no. No… No, please don't confess. Please. Everything was going so well…

"Sure, what's up?" His voice sounded casual, even though his stomach took a toll. If this was anything like what people described as 'butterflies in their stomach', Wormtail was glad he didn't feel attraction.

"You probably know this already- or you don't and are oblivious. But… I like you. As in I fancy you. Have been for a while." The Ravenclaw probably wasn't expecting that reaction. Maybe a rejection, an unsureness or if he got lucky, a kiss. Instead he was met with sadness. Pettigrew looked down, leg bouncing from anxiety. "Please say something…"

"I can't…" Voice broken, much how he felt inside. "I-I can't love like that… It's not-"

"'It's not you, it's me', heard that one."

"No, Benjy! Listen to me, please… I don't think I'm capable of having romantic feelings. I can't bring myself to be interested in any of those things. Kisses grosses me, couples annoy me, the whole societal norms in regards to love leave me bloody fuming! I don't know why I'm like this. I just really don't like that sappy stuff. It's not for me. And if I did like it and feel romantic attraction, I would've definitely dated you. It just doesn't feel right to be with anyone… I'm sorry for giving you any wrong signals…"

"It's okay. I thought there was something, sorry for misinterpreting our relationship." No, don't go!

"No! Benjy there is! Just because it's platonic doesn't mean it's not special! You're my best friend…"

"I… I thought it was the Marauders?"

"Well… James is sort of on your level. But you've been climbing your way up, I feel. Remus is a good friend and Sirius too but… Nothing compared to you. You make me feel loved, like I'm worth something."

"You're worth the whole world…"

"Then let's not change things… I'd really hate it if you stopped being my friend because of this…" No, go back inside! Bloody tears!

"Okay. If that's what you want, I'm happy to just be near you. We can keep our Wednesday tea dates. Platonically!" The small boy chuckled. Benjy was the best, he made everything better. Wormtail could always count on him.

"I'd like that." Ben opened his arms wide and Wormy walked there in baby steps until his head was against his friend's chest. He let himself be hugged, taken care of. "Are you mad?"

"At you? Never."

"I'm sorry for this. You're truly special, Ben."

"So are you. As a lover or a friend. So are you, Petey..." They stayed like that for a while. And then they carried as usual, their bond the same as before, if not stronger. Things hadn't gone the way Benjamin wanted them to, but the Marauder knew he got touched by being called a best friend. And Peter meant every word of it. Not loving romantically didn't mean not loving at all. Platonic love was just as important, just as intense, just as real.

[urapocolypticcrush]

hii rose! 👋

omg thats so cool u started ur blog because you were inspired by tori spring??!!! i love tori spring she is so effortlessly cool and mysterious and i love heartstopper tooooo omggggggg and solitare!

i didnt realise you only just started ur blog last year! in your intro post u asked your followers to add ur mutuals? how do i do that lol im a bit new to tumblr

i SO agree with you about the sitting or lying in a bed with outside clothes! i dont understand how other people can just sit on their bed with clothes that have been outside like its no big deal its so GROSS EWW

what are some of your favourite foods?? cuisines?

you also said in your intro u like playing the piano for fun?? i LOVE playing the piano for fun ive been playing piano for about 10 years now and ive always done lessons and kinda hated it... do you play any other instruments? how long have u played piano for?

i love risk its so crazy and i love it sooo much so excited for gracie's new era!

u also said in ur intro that u would love to be friends?? i would love to be friends (i mean maybe we kinda are already? im not sure) because u have so many cool interests that are similar to mine and ur so sweet and its so kind of u to answer all my little asks when u might have other more important things to do ❤️

i realised that this is like having a penpal i love it aaahhhhhhh

from anon 💌

hiiii anon 💌

teehee i cant believe you like solitaire and heartstopper!!!!! and i agree tori spring is the best!!! oooops sorry if my intro post is confusing i meant like you can follow me and id love to be friends and then i was like telling my mutuals that they’re the best if that makes sense???

THANK YOU!!! isnt is SO weird. i swear it is. its not normal like EEEEWWWW

honestly i love every type of food ever, but i love italian cuisine especially PIZZA IS SO DIVINE. and then some of my fave foods would be like prawns (or shrimp whatever you call it), sweetcorn (its so good.), watermelon, cereal and ham and cheese sandwiches (you literally cant beat them.) THAT LIST IS SO ALL OVER THE PLACE IM SO SORRY!!!!

OHMYGOD YOU PLAY PIANO?!?! DUUUUDEEE WE’RE SO SIMILAR. and 10 years is so impressive well done omg !!! ive played piano for 6 years now!!! i do lessons and grades but i only really like playing piano when im doing it for fun teehee!! i do play guitar and ukulele too!

im so excited for gracie’s new era too i have to get more into her music, she’s so talented!!

ohmygod of COURSE i would love to be friends, youre so awesome!!! (we kinda already are but yk we can make it official teehee) we’re so similar and you’re so cool i would love that!!!! <33 AND DONT WORRY I DO NOT HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO IM A PROCRASTINATOR LMAOO

its so fun!!! i love mutuals its like we’re all lil penpals !!!!

thanks anon 💌 <33